DotPenn

Say, Abduhl, could ya pass the Schmaltz?

Penn State’s initiative to provide Muslim students with a Halal restaurant is having a global impact. The administration of King Khaladi Dadi Da University, located in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, is opening a Kosher deli for its Jewish students.

Muhammed Ahmed, student life sheikh of the university, said it was a good will gesture on their part. “We were inspired by the inclusion of a Halal restaurant for our brothers and sisters studying at Penn State,” Ahmed said. “And we thought, who are we? A bunch of schnooks? Not offering a bagel or some mazah?”

Ahmed said the deli will feature a smattering of Jewish delicacies for students to gnosh on. “It’s also going to be a place for us to schmooze and kibitz with our Jewish friends.”

The restaurant will be called “The Chutzpah” and is air-conditioned so the students don’t sit around schvitzing, Ahmed said. He added that a few Jewish comedians have even pledged to perform a schtick or two at the deli.

“We had a word in with Jerry Seinfeld’s manager, you know what we got?” Ahmed asked. “We got bupkis is what we got. Jerry give us a call.”

Ahmed believes this could attract more Jews to the university and, even, perhaps the country. It may even take the world a little bit closer to peace. “One could hope. One could hope,” Ahmed said. “After all, it’s hard to be rabidly anti-Semitic after you had a good piece of lox.”