Beaver Stadium matches big beer bellies with teeny, tiny seats.
He’s spent the past 25 years in the same seat in Beaver Stadium watching his beloved Nittany Lions play.
Some things are the same. The head coach hasn’t changed and, except for an occasional Nike swoosh, the uniforms are the same, too.
Some things have changed. After a quarter century of tailgating, Glenn Bartucky’s coat is far puffier than the slim windbreaker he wore when his circulation was better and his ass has become exponentially bigger.
Despite years of dirty looks from his fellow fans, Bartucky has refused to lose weight… or dump the blue and white parka that, to some, resembles a trans-continental weather balloon. Of course, he received the latest news with relish (and ketchup, mustard, and salsa) that Beaver Stadium is the now the largest college stadium in the country.
Bartucky will skip dieting and will make sure he lines up for seconds and thirds at the meatball sandwich queue at the next tailgate.
“This is good news,” Bartucky said. “I was thinking Atkins, that way I wouldn’t have to skip the bratwurst. But, hey, pile on the fries and taters!”
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