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Downtown Altoona has small town feel for home town gangstah’s

Downtown Altoona has been named “best little inner city” by a group of inner city mayors.

Inner City Mayors Commission bestowed the honor on Altoona during a convention held at a bar in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of New York City. The group is composed of mayors from cities such as Camden, Oakland, Detroit, and Philadelphia.

Barry McGrath, of McGrath, Hoover, McGrath and McHoover, one of the nation’s leading inner city planners, said don’t let the size of the dot on the map fool you, Altoona is making a name for itself in crime, drugs, gangs, and especially graffiti art.

“Altoona and her absentee landlords have made splendid headway in creating an inner city atmostphere,” McGrath said. “When we came here ten years ago, I walked the street freely; this year, I was afraid to get out of the car. The town has truly hit SubPrime Time!”

“Kids thought ‘tagging’ was a something that let you know when your shirt was on backwards,” McGrath added. “I had to blink hard to make sure I wasn’t in Detroit.”

In addition to a full-color spread in “Hoodz,” the official magazine of inner-city government officials, Altoona will also receive advice on how to manage the growth of their inner city.

“We’ll talk to them about adding welfare housing units and limiting police presence,” McGrath said. “Making sure you zone incorrectly or not at all can be a stumbling block, so we’ll make mention of that.”

McGrath said that Altoona does lack a nickname that can help “brand” its gangstah lifestyle. Detroit is referred to as the Murder City and Philadelphia is called “Kill-a-delphia.”

“Something to work on, I guess,” McGrath stated. “Maybe Malice-toona? We’ll focus group it.”

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