Missuh Obama Say He Help Po Small Town Pennsylvanians

April 14th, 2008 · No Comments

Obama: The best way to defeat stereotypes is to make new ones.

Barack Obama (D-Elitist) said over the weekend that he undersands why poor whites in towns like Bellwood cling to guns and religion–Dey’s mad and stupid.

It’s a message that’s resonating with central Pennsylvanian voters.

“Lordy. Lordy. I’ze so happy that Missuh Obama come a save me from my bitterness and poverty,” said Jack Veribaugh, whose called Ole Jack by his friends. “Why just the other day when I was up in the fields I say I so bitter I could use a little time at the shootin’ range.”

Veribaugh also said he has a “great hankerin’” for religion since, nearin’ he can tell, the beginning of the Carter administration.

“Oh before Jimmy Carter, I was loosey-goosey with ma belief system, I was one of those, what dey calls an agnostic,” Veribaugh said. “But, I was a lot like Missuh Obama in that I kepts attendin’ a god-fearin’, white hatin’ church, so’s that if’n I ever runned for political office, I coulds say I was Christian.”

Minnie Mae Walyers, of Bellwood, said when her and her family of 12 gathered around the radio on Saturday to listen to “The Great Agitator,” as Obama has been named by poor whites, she was moved–and somewhat baffled–by his speech.

“Why I understood only two or three sentences causin’ he uses such high and pow-full wordins, but I got the jest of what he was sayin’,” Walyers said. “He say we go to church and buy firearms outta anger and bitterness of the political process.”

Walyers also said her job as a cotton-picker was outsourced to Mexico recently, due to NAFTA and some climate issues that she failed to specify.

“And I tellz all my family,” Walyers said. “Just supposin’… just supposin’ Missuh Obama he do gets elected. Why we all be free to be unbittered and grow strong in the broken places.”

“And I won’t have to go to Wednesday prayer meetin’ neither!” Walyers concludes before she breaks out into a folk dance and a spirited version of ‘Amazin’ Grace’ .”

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