DotPenn

Finally, leadership that is unafraid to say they like choo-choos and puppies.

After careful consideration of the candidates, DotPenn is endorsing Mooky for the office of President of the United States.

We believe that Mooky brings the qualities that both represent what is best in central Pennsylvania and what is needed in a superb chief executive.

To begin with, Mooky has the backing of central Pennsylvania’s labor. The three people who are actually gainfully employed in Snyder Township support Mooky.

As far as foreign relations, he is knowledgeable of the unique position that the United States holds in today’s rapidly evolving geopolitical spectrum. Through a series of rapid hand-claps and excited grunts, he could pinpoint Greenland on a map, for instance. He always carries his name and address on his underwear tags, so he is aware that all politics is local.

We can’t forget, either, the sacrifices Mooky has made in his life. His years spent as an advisor to the Snyder Township planning commission have been vital to the township’s progress from butthole to arm pit of central Pennsylvania. Working closely with township personnel has often been likened to a North Vietnamese prison camp, if everyone in North Vietnam were related.

During the Democratic primary, Mooky managed to keep above the contentious fray. In fact, Mooky out-bowled Barack Obama, with little fanfare from the nation’s mainstream media. While former first lady Hillary Clinton,fabricated a story about dodging sniper bullets in Serbia, Mooky has regularly avoided tobacco spit and sesame seeds that have been aimed at him by his Snyder Township detractors.

We believe that Mooky’s message of hope, fiscal responsibility, and free puppies is more than a motto; it’s a road map for the future of Snyder Township, of Pennsylvania and for the World (except the areas that still use puppies as a form of sustenance).

As Mooky so eloquently put in his last speech, “Me. Vote happy. Puppies.”

Indeed, oh sons and daughters of Pennsylvania, this Tuesday, Vote Mooky. Vote happy. Vote puppies.
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