DotPenn

Welfare? Si!, Amnistia? No!

Non-working Americans are increasingly being displaced by immigrant non-workers, according to recent statistics, and rural American non-workers are not happy about it.

“We haven’t worked a long time to deserve our status and to lose it to a bunch of people who ain’t even American,” said Bubba Wallace, a member of Hillbillies A’gin Immigration, Legal or Otherwise. “Well, it ain’t even right, son.”

Wallace said he has noticed an influx of non-English speaking non-workers in the area. He worries that it’s taxing the welfare system. “The American taxpayer has enough problems supporting me not working and my several families not working,” Wallace said. “How can we expect them to support non-working people who ain’t even English speakers?”

Wallace said he first noticed the number of “funny-talkin’ ” people during an emergency room visit.

“I overdosed on percocets, again, and needed care,” Wallace said. “And I was surrounded by foreigners who were getting free care. And some of ‘em were doctorin’! Sheesh. You wonder why we have a health care problem in this country.”

Wallace said his group plans to organize a protest against immigration, probably at either a bar or on someone’s porch.

“We already got a sign that reads, ‘go be a drain on your own country’s economy’!” Wallace said. “Catchy, huh?”

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