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 Rendell: Hillary Clinton? Hillary Clinton Who?

Governor Edward “G-slots” Rendell (D-Philly Cream Cheese) has officially un-endorsed Hillary Clinton.

“Did I say I endorsed Hillary Clinton? You’re kidding me?” Rendell said. “I misspoke. I meant to say that I endured Clinton. I had no intention of endorsing her. Yuck!”

According to Rendell, he is trying to right this miscue by officially un-endorsing Clinton and sending back most of the kickbacks. “Not all,” Rendell said. “Most… OK… A portion. Some. A few. Alright, one.”

Rendell said he has always been a strong Obama supporter, especially since it looks like he might receive the party’s nomination. Rendell said the only thing the Obama campaign needs is a husky, white running mate who disdains rural Pennsylvanians as much as Obama does.

Mickey Gilleymore, Rendell spokesman, said that the governor has recently formed an exploratory committee to see if he is husky enough to suit the bill. “He shops in husky men shops, so that definitely gives him a leg up on most candidates,” Gilleymore said. “And most Pennsylvanians believe Rendell is the largest governor in recent times.”

He also agrees with Obama about the vast cultural wasteland that is central Pennsylvania.

“Until recently the governor had no idea that a tract of land existed between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia,” Gilleymore said. “He believed it was some type of reservation for natives and gypsy moths.”

Rep. John Murtha recently endorsed Clinton, expressing both his faith in Clinton and his affinity for promoting losing causes.
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