For whom does the Spaniard toll? He tolls for I-80.
Windmills? Si!
Turnpike? Si!
Less polka, more salsa? You better believe Si!
Governor Edward “G-pesos” Rendell (D-Iberia) continues to line up more deals with Spanish companies, as he gradually prostitutes Pennsylvania for Euros, latin cuisine and a few tequila-fueled snakebite shots.
Yesterday, the governor’s office announced that a consortia of Spanish companies have leased the state name for 85 years. The company plans to re-name it “Pennsyl-spain-ia.”
“I can never tell you the joy I have in planting the Spanish brand here,” Esperanza Esperanzo, head of the Spanish Reconquestidores, said as he takes a silk handkerchief from his pocket with a flamenco flourish. “I have something in my eye. Forgive the lack of macho this moment.”
Lonnie Rockford, spokesman for the state’s licensing division, said the funds from the name leasing will help bail out PennDOT. Rockford, who was wearing a matador costume to celebrate the announcement said, “If we can learn from anyone, we can learn from the Spanish, who, despite massive amounts of ill-gotten wealth from the New World and high tax levies, were still able fritter their money away on idiotic projects that never really addressed the true cause of the state’s rotten infrastructure.”
“We can now say with pride,” Rockford continued. “You’ve got an amigo in Pennsyl-Spain-ia!”
The move to lease the name came on the Cuban heels of two big deals with Spainish companies. Gamesa, a Spanish company, is building wind-powered eyesores on most of Pennsylvania’s formerly scenic ridges.
Recently, Albertis, another Spanish company, was picked to lease the Pennsylvania turnpike, which will be renamed, El Camino. The company may also look at leasing I-80.
Spanish companies are also eyeing Pennsylvania stadiums. “We are looking at this Heinz field for bull fights,” Esperanzo said. “It sounds a little ketchuppy. Maybe we salsa it up a bit, si?”
In other headlines…
Former Penn State wrestler attempts to out-do football players.
Ranger knows his way around meth deals.
Law requires vests on highways, and nice dress shoes.
10 responses so far ↓
1 Lee Enfield // May 24, 2008 at 5:55 pm
What? No comment from Banksy? He must be busy with more important issues, like playing “name that tune”, or maybe eating a tuna sandwich.
2 TWILA // May 24, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Pennsylvania es las nuestras, todo el los nuestros!!
3 TWILA // May 24, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Arrendemos a sus niños!!
4 TWILA // May 24, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Bill Latchford nos ama también!
5 TWILA // May 24, 2008 at 7:35 pm
mis cabritos van a la universidad en su dinero!!
6 Banksy // May 25, 2008 at 1:57 am
Taco
7 utinker // May 25, 2008 at 10:11 am
Hahahaha!
Good one Twila!
Let me try.
The rane in Spane falls mainly on the plane, so it does.
8 utinker // May 25, 2008 at 2:18 pm
I only wanna be the man
to give you everything I can
every day and every night
love you for all my life.
I don’t wanna change the world
as long as you’re my amante
it’s more than enough,
just to be the man you love!
Your dinero would be an added nicety. Now I don’t mean this in any disrespectful way. That is to say at this point I am only making a point. I have forgotten my point, but I know that the rane in spane falls manely on the plane. Did you fart?
9 bbb // May 26, 2008 at 6:37 pm
How’d you do that? That was really rather amazing!
10 prior // Jun 1, 2008 at 4:12 am
Fear not foreign domination!
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