DotPenn

 Gen. X students: Today’s Penn State kids lack anti-social skills.

Just ten years ago, Brenson Beason, then a senior in Undecided Undergraduate Studies, was a self-described naive change agent who attended the Central Pennsylvania Festival of the Arts shopping for over-priced pottery and exploring vandalism as a form of artistic expression.

“Back then, we really believed we could make a difference,” Beason said. “For instance, we thought if you threw a trash can into a window. You know, that would make a difference by, like, shattering the window.”

Now, Beason said the new generation of college students just don’t get it. Apathetic and insulated, Beason doubts this new class would have the stomach or stamina for rioting.

“They’re so isolated, you know, I watch them walk around campus with their ipods in their ears, so afraid to confront the world,” Beason said. “When I went to school we made our own rhythms, like the sound of a light pole cymbal crashing on the street corner and the thumpin’ bass of someone jumping on a car hood. It was like jazz, man.”

Beason said the generation’s prolific rioting wasn’t just honed by disrupting art gatherings.

“No. No. No. We rioted when the basketball team won; we rioted when they lost,” Beason said. “We once rioted when they took the Price is Right off for a special news report.”

Sue Ellen Mishky, who spent most of the art’s fest riot flashing her breasts and taunting the crowd into a frenzy, said she agreed the new generation is apathetic to change, but blamed over-indulgent parents and video games for their indifference.

“These kids sit in front of a box and jack cars and destroy street corners on Grand Theft Auto when we did it in real life,” Mishky said. “I really feel sorry for the kids growing up nowadays. There’s a disconnect with real life.”

“And when I was a kid, our parents would be, like, you know, get out in the fresh air and kick some beer balls around,” said Mishky. “They wouldn’t stand for this, I-want-to-stay-in-and-play-video-game stuff.”

Mishky currently works as a headlining exotic dancer and has auditioned for several roles in reality television. Beason works as an assistant manager at the same Uni-Mart he worked at during the art fest riot. He was a manager then, Beason added.

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