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Victims to brave high water, drink soda rather than face trite headlines. Forecasters are predicting that Hurricane Dolly may devastate Texas newspapers and other news outlets with "Hello Dolly" headlines and graphics. "Any time you have a combination of a low pressure system mixing with funny hurricane names, you have the possibility that it will spawn trite headlines, like, Hello Dolly and the like," said Irving Bangles, of the Oceanographic Headline Writing Agency. "You just have to prepare right now." Forecasters expect the headlines to make landfall in Texas this morning with gusty sentences and periods of soaking similes and metaphors. "You have to remember headlines like this can also spin off exaggerations," said Bangles. "Including, cute stuff like, it's raining armadillos and longhorns." The last overused hurricane headline was during Hurricane Johnny in 1973, which created a string of "Here's Johnny" titles along the coastal area of Alabama. The Weather Channel already has "Hello Dolly" graphics and a list of cool hurricane terminology, like "CAT 2" and "intense low pressure" system. Reporters can add these to their stories for an air of expertise. Most emergency personnel are not expecting any serious problems with this headline phenomenon, most readers have vacated for online sources.
In other headlines... Centre County may get twice the tolls. Jay Paterno calls for Obama 'ground game'. Probably a draw play. Party fight prompts judicial ethics probe. None found.
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