Zombies say, ”Get hand off my body. Get hand into my stomach! Ahrrgg.”
Zombies say they’re switching from the walking dead to the marching dead as they marshall forces to counter Pro-Life rallies and parades.
The half-dead, half-living flesh eaters say pro-life forces are a threat to their individual liberties and Constitutional rights to privacy. Most pro-choice Zombies also believe pro-lifers are bitter moralists, in addition to tasting a little gamey.
Aargh Bleeh, semi-attached head of the Zombies for Choice Arghhh, said Zombies want to make their own decisions when it comes to life and death.
“Who say when dead, dead and when living, living?” said Bleeh. “Who say when dead not eat living? Rhetorical question. GluuhhhErrrr…”
Zombies also say pro-choice views add options to their restricted living-deaths.
“Zombie pro-choice.” Bleeh said. “Me like choice of leg AND torso! argggg…. Hard to joke and rip off own arm…. akkkkrrrr…”
Ooogh Uggg, another pro-choice Zombie, said she resents the intrusion of pro-lifers into her own personal space.
“My body. My choice.” Uggg said. “Your flesh. My teeth. Mmmmm…”
One reason that Zombies are more militant in their opposition of the Pro-Life movement is the arrival of Sarah Palin onto the political scene. When Palin was picked as McCain’s running mate, Zombies are now worried that she may add a pro-life voice to the ticket.
“Sarah. No good.. Pretty. ” Bleeh said. “Maybe brain good to eat, too… Not good much else.”
In other headlines…
State High student had knife. Immediately transferred to Philipsburg
Suspended chief shoots for “worst officer ever” bragging rites.
There is no Johnstown Fight Club. But it’s posted on Youtube anyway.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Robert Simon // Sep 24, 2008 at 11:01 am
Funny stuff…and very accurate….”pro-choicers”should be seen and never heard though…hehehehehhehehehehe
2 Richard Kane (RichardKanePA) // Sep 24, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Time for non feminists to criticize Palin as well
Mayor Blumberg back when Casey wanted to run against Santorum admonished women not to support someone weak on abortion issues just because he was the lesser evil.
Now the Hypocrite can’t decide between Obama and McCain and doesn’t mention Palin’s extremism as a factor, much less a deciding factor.
Shouldn’t he be protested shouldn’t Ralph Nader be protested to comment on more than Sarah Palin being engrossed in big oil.
I’m glad you are in PA too bad not eastern PA like I am.
Senator Specter was given permission to oppose partial birth abortion as a special case, due to him being in PA. Senator Casey should be given permission to praise his pro-life father Governor Casey who would have been shocked at Palin stopping Alaska from paying for rape kids knowing that women’s groups would pay for it and thus have less money for other things. That way Senator Casey’s frequent criticisms of Palin would stick a little.
Palin wouldn’t let the government pay for rape kids knowing women’s groups would do it and have less money to advocate with. If a rape victim in Alaska back then went to the police and they urged her to go to Planned Parenthood to pay for the kit, and she believed the lies that Planned Parenthood would give her a morning after pill without her permission, a poor version of Sarah Palin would have been in a desperate situation. All because of her Governor’s insane extremism.
Only an extreme choice advocate would approve of tissue banks where a women would get pregnant every 7 months to earn money by selling tissue parts.
Let’s us pro-lifers speak out against insanity as well.
Everyone help me form “Pro-Lifers Against Sarah Palin’s Extremism’, so far only at CapitalHillBlue and PhillyIMC. Huffington Post won’t give me a new password nor will Propeller and OpedNews won’t let me post at all.
RichardKanePa
3 Richard Kane (RichardKanePA) // Sep 24, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I am trying to form “Pro-lifers Against Sarah Palin’s” extremism Google it, and post it to the internet. The last time I tried to enclose a link, Propeller called it scam.
When Clarance Thomas and Gonzales was in the news many listened closely at each additional hedgey statement of his.
Today, no one spreads around the Googespear, Spector’s reluctant endorsement of Palin, or Chuch Hagel’s shock.
Mayor Blumberg of NY City back when PA was trying to decide whether the present PA Governor Casey should run against Santorum. Blumberg urged that abortion right’s advocates should never support someone who is partially against abortion.
Now the Palin is picked he still is undecided between McCain and Obama. And doesn’t mention Palin as anything to do with his continued indecision. Why don’t people remind him about what he said against Casey? Why doesn’t Casey quote his very pro-life father who would never have supported Palin.
Why don’t people ask Nader to say more about Palin then her position on oil? Or McKinney of the Green Party to speak up or her Hispanic activist Vice President candidate this is the way the big political parties do it. When I used to picket Planned Parenthood in Philadelphia I was never for enslaving a woman for 9 months with someone circumstance made her think was an invader.
I never got an opportunity to urge other witnessers for life to cool it. However J. following this one boyfriend or husband who escorted his partner to the clinic then quickly left almost in tears. J. followed the man back to his car urging if you were really a man you would go back in their and save your baby. The man tried to run J. over and I may or may not have something to do with the police not arresting him. Of course if the man was arrested J. would have quickly dropped charges in return for the abortion being halted.
Palin having Alaska not paying for rape kits of course meant that Feminist groups would pay the bill, and thus have less money to advocate with. But what about a woman seeking help directly from the police? Would they have sent a poor rape victim to Planned Parenthood for the Rape Kit? If the woman was pro-life she would be afraid she would be slipping a morning after pill without her permission considering the lies she probably heard about Planned Parenthood
India has Surrogate Mother banks where women earn a living being segregate mothers. If in some part of the world their was a tissue bank where women could get pregnant every 7 months making body parts for tissue banks pro-choicers would scream. It’s time for pro-lifers to scream against Sarah Palin as well.
Some Feminists may say I am wrong abortion harrasser should be a curse word similar to the n word.
I disagree with this too. A lot of people who think Blacks are inferior still support Obama.
I don’t, but still I would be proud to show such people solidarity by wearing a button stating, “Maybe its time for a smart ——, than having another dumb clown in the White House” living the dash in as part of the button
RichardKanePA
4 Pacowithtaco // Sep 24, 2008 at 1:24 pm
“Palin good…aarkk Barack “Thriller” Obama baaad…glitch.”
5 Big Jimmie Beaver // Sep 25, 2008 at 7:28 am
Just wanted to share something I received everybody here would enjoy:
“I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…..
If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re ‘exotic, different.’
Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.
If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, and you’re a maverick.
Graduate from Harvard law School and be President of the Law Review, and you are unstable.
Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.
If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.
If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you’re very responsible.
If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.
If your husband is nicknamed ‘First Dude’, with at least one DUI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
……..OK, much clearer now”
6 bbb // Sep 25, 2008 at 8:35 am
Clear as mud, I suppose, as the saying goes, Jimmy. I do appreciate the fact that the author of this page called both groups by the name they like, pro-choice, and pro-life. The article itself was funny and sad at the same time, which reminds me of the entire issue…I wish we could all resolve our problems and that anything made sense that Kane said, but I just couldn’t follow it.
Huh? Anyway, keep up the good work. Maybe you should win for president…I mean dotpenn, not Kane…:)
7 AirCav101 // Sep 25, 2008 at 9:08 am
Are there doctors who specialize in removing boards from asses?
I think he might have some patients.
8 RichardKanePA // Sep 25, 2008 at 11:02 am
Jim Beaver I found your comment, I pride myself in thinking that I use my head not my grown, but the difference between mine and your comment is amazing. I want to post it but it has no link attached. And ethically and legally others aren’t supposed to copy it only link on it unless you give permission. Could you post another comment stating that you give permission to copying it.
Richard Kane in PA
RichardKanePA
9 SpankyMcFadden // Sep 25, 2008 at 11:46 am
Hot tub.
….and you can quote me on that Richard.
10 LRCosgrove // Sep 25, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I just want to say as an African American I find all this dotpenn stuff frivolous nonsense.
But what is not is Jimmie Beavers comments.
As a person who escaped the ghettos I want to know if Jimmie , who is probably a white college kid, would exchange places with the people in Obama’s district? The ghettos were built by white college and Harvard-educated whites and maintained by politicians like Obama.
By the way Theodore Kaczynski and W. were Harvard educated.
Another thing. At one point is it age-appropriate to deny me my rights and responsibilities as a parent to raise my children and educate them about sex?
As to the families of these candidates, I won’t speak ill. It’s not right
11 Pacowithtaco // Sep 25, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Hey Beav, Help me out here…
So, if you paint over the American flag on your campaign jet-that makes you patriotic? Okay! You spend numerous years in a communist prison and that makes you a warmonger,right!?
This game is too easy.I have other things to do.
What is that Obama symbol anyways? I get the idea it means the sun sets on our former flag. Anyone have an idea?
12 RichardKanePA // Sep 25, 2008 at 9:17 pm
After wondering whether LRCosgrove comment 10, was for real I realized that some may wonder if I am for real as well, so the following is what I posted to Huckabee is not a Sane Man,
http://www.alternet.org/story/68057
Posted by: RichardKanePA on Nov 24, 2007 2:42 PM
Current rating: 2 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is RichardKanePA
Bin Laden and the Bin Laden wing of the Al Qaeda network wants a war between civilizations, wanting the US to attack the Afgan’s to restore them to militancy, but all over the world is sturring up hate. Hillary will be like a bull in the China shop.
I don’t want to harp on Isreal, because the possibility that the West will end up saying “its all Isreal’s fault” gives bin Laden hope that is goals are rathional.
Though the author scared me a little when she talked of Hukelbee’s belief in Armageddon. Everything else she said made me want to support Hukebee more.
Johovah Witnesses believe in Armageddon, but don’t believe in voting rather than risking voting for someone who will make Armangeddom come sooner.
I will look for signs that Hukelbee believes that returning the world toward peace is hopeless, other wise I will support Hukelbee fully as someone who can bring peace between cultuures, and help the downtrodden in the US as well.
I would be happy to give more references
RichardKanePA
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