DotPenn

Iron My Curtain! Clintons Explore The North Korean Option 

Hillary Clinton, the Democrat’s discarded presidential candidate and jilted vice-presidential candidate, said she’s ready to take the helm of the North Korean state, pending the revelation of current leader Kim Jong Il’s incapacitating sickness and/or assassination.

Clinton has been meeting with current North Korean government officials, her press secretary Franklin Beaumont Walters said.

“I checked her calendar,” Walters said. “She’s free for the next four years.”

Walters also indicated she was getting ready for the job of North Korean strongman by walking in high heels and watching American pornography.

“She realizes the challenges that the North Korean people might have in accepting her as the bright father-leader of Communism,” Walters said. “Kim Jong-Il is much more feminine looking and fills out a pantsuit better. Her politics are also a little left-of-center by North Korean standards.”

The match is still possible, said North Korean expert, Erica Jong-Il, who wrote Fear of Frying, the definitive guide to dining on the upper Korean peninsula.

“Is there that much difference between North Korea now and Arkansas under the Clintons,” Jong-Il asked. “Besides the prettiness of the Korean landscape and the lack of attack pigs, North Korea should be a nice home.”

Clinton already has her family on board for the move.

“Aw, yeah,” said Clinton’s husband, William Jefferson Clinton. “What a gig. I dig Asian chicks.”

Pennsylvania Gov. Edward G-Il Rendell has endorsed her for North Korean premiership, adding he would consider any positions as a yes-man in the Glorious People’s cabinet.

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