Congress on the Rush: Teapot Dome Bill’s Just the Cat’s Meow

October 1st, 2008 · No Comments

Twenty-one skidoo! Legislators work feverishly to solve Jazz Age scandal.

Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi said yesterday that Congress was prepared to consider some type of action to investigate the Teapot Dome scandal eventually.

The Teapot Dome refers to an oil field in Wyoming that once served as the U.S. Navy’s oil reserve in the 1920s. The tract of land became the epicenter of a scandal for the Warren G. Harding administration.

According to Pelosi, Congress is sorting out the tangled mess of graft and croneyism.

“We gotta make real quick like and investigate this razzmatazz of what seems to be a heapin’ load of wooden nickles from the high hats tossed onto the laps of the American people,” said Pelosi, the one-time flapper. “Not a time to beat one’s gums, but we gotta do something. Capiche?”

Pelosi said the bill currently in the House misappropriations committee is now on the trolley and and that it was a real sockdollager.

“It’s a swell bill, swell,” Pelosi said. “Why I’d say I been told a time or three that Congress will show that Congress know its onions when it comes to tallying up this timely piece of legislation. Pos-i-tute-ly.”

The total cost of the investigation is likely to be $700 billion clams.

“That’s a whole lotta mazuma,” the speaker added. “Yeah, some heavy sugar, there.”

After clearing up the Teapot Dome scandal, Congress plans to convene a session on the fixing of the 1919 World Series and, if they have time, find out who’s behind the whole bombing of Pearl Harbor thing.

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