PennDOT Miracle! Believers Say Image of Complete Highway Spotted Near Skytop

October 6th, 2008 · No Comments

PennDOT sees light, takes eight years to install it.

They’re coming–some in cars, some pulling Amish rickshaws, most on foot due to gas prices–to witness what has been described as a miracle: the image of a complete road has appeared near State College.

“It ain’t like the other roads that PennDOT makes!” said Jeremy Flogtz, a commuter who travels between his hometown of Altoona and State College each day. “If you look real close it looks like the road sections connect… they meet up.”

PennDOT officials have sent road crews to the area–an isolated spot on Skytop, the name of a moutain above State College–to investigate the reported anomaly, which some are comparing to the Nazca Lines, a series of geoglyphs located in the Peruvian deserts.

“We just can’t explain it,” said Hector Gunsallus, a PennDOT spokesperson. “We were just kinda movin’ dirt around, sucking up taxpayer money and introducing highly toxic substances into the water system for the past seven years, when lo and behold, a kinda road-like thingy appeared.”

Gunsallus said the miraculous path that appears above the Bald Eagle Valley might connect blue collar Altoona with pink collar State College. He said the miraculous road etchings could open “possibly before Thanksgiving,” as a way to commemorate one of the state transportation agency and funding sludge pit’s biggest turkeys.

Pilgrims have rushed to the area, but have been delayed by usual traffic snarls. Susan Montag, who joined the pilgrimage, said that recent highway formation could be the fulfillment of a prophecy.

“Many, many years ago, it was foretold in a PennDOT news release that a great highway system would arise from the dust and ashes of taxpayer funding,” Montag said. “But before that a period of great tribulation would occur that would require motorists to spend vast amounts of time stuck in traffic as PennDOT attempted to funnel high volume traffic onto single-lane roads.”

“I believe we are witnessing the fulfillment of that prophecy,” concluded Montag.

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