|
Satire site has limited success drawing comparison between Waxman and Dobby's big ears, while making the photo relevant to the post. Dish Network, the satellite television conglomerate, announced today that they are investigating the illegal use of House Elf Representative Henry Waxman's ears to illegally access premium satellite channels. Waxman's large array jug-handled sized ears are capable of picking up satellite signals, as well as x-ray bursts from distant galaxies , but the network claimed that Waxman is digitally reproducing these signals for his friends and family. Napolean Bernapart, a representative of Dish Network, said the the Congressman has overstepped his bounds. "It's not against the law to receive the signals as the congressman knows," said Bernapart. "It's illegal to reproduce them without consent." Abuse of power issues are also worrisome, the company representative explained. "It's also troubling that Congressman Waxman would use his power--that being his really big ears--to knowingly thwart the rules he is supposed to protect," Bernapart continued. An investigation into Waxman revealed that he invited his friends and family over to catch the complete lineup of Sunday NFL games, available only in premium mode. In other headlines... Since no one can afford to drive, PennDOT opens I-99. Newspapers go to war over stolen obituaries. Township considers inefficient, bird-killing eyesores to provide minimal energy.
|
