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Mother Nature to humanity: “Shut up already.”

Environmental scientists say that non-stop talking about global warming is releasing excess carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. Carbon Dioxide, or CO2, is the leading culprit of global climate change.

“When you talk, you release carbon dioxide,” said Dr. Pieter Von Dieter, the research scientist in charge of the study. “At a recent cocktail party in Manhattan we registered levels of CO2 high enough that they could melt a mid-sized iceberg.”

Von Dieter said Al Gore single-handedly increased the earth’s temperature by .5 degrees through the release of his film “An Inconvenient Truth” and his prior appearances on Late Night with David Letterman as vice-president.

Hollywood celebrities are also implicated in the study. Their constant yapping about global warming while riding in limos and flying in private jets has increased CO2 levels. Fortunately, Von Dieter said that the more talk about global warming gives them less chance to drone on endlessly about their next movie projects.

“So, at least humanity gets a little break,” Von Dieter said.

Von Dieter is scheduled to present the finding of his study to Congress, another massive source of CO2 release.

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