DotPenn

We like to present Dotpenn as a forum for views of central and western Pennsylvania’s leading citizens. Today, we present an editorial on politcal primaries by Super Drunk Man, a legendary Pennsylvanian alcoholic, former MiG pilot, polar bear hunter, Beatles roadie and dish washer.

Hey. Listen. Ya listenin’?

See the thing is the whole primary system… the primary system… of government is run by the travel industry, you know what I mean?

Who is getting all that money for the jets and the buses? Who? The travel industry, buddy, the travel industry. Know what I’m saying? And they are in bed with the Oil industry and the chotchkies industry. All for sale. Little aluminum empire state buildings. Washington monuments. Badges. The whole badge industry is involved in this too.

It’s deep, man, deep.

You can’t walk in a room of politicians without the man from the badge company, you know I ain’t lying. Know what I mean? Polar bears have an intense sense of smell they can smell a seal through ice and tell what gender it is. Because they only eat male seals. Only male seals. And that’s a fact.

That’s where your tax dollars are going, buddy, know what I mean? Know what I mean? You know what a caucus means? Dollah. Dollah. Is what it means. Certainly. Ain’t no latin or greek, son, I’ll tell you that, son. Ever been to Korea? The air’s thin up there and a MiG ain’t got no heater, not in the early versions that I flew. Cold.

You have been to school and don’t know this. I taught the Beatles everything they knew about tying ties. Before me, they wore fake bow ties. And that’s the truth. I ain’t lyin’, I ain’t lyin.

That’s what’s sad about the American educational system is they want to teach you that Washington crossed the river, the Beatles tied their own ties, but they don’t say it’s cause the travel industry told them to. You won’t read none of that in none of your fancy history books and flash cards.

They want you to believe that. Mark McGuire did not do steroids, I’ll tell you that right now, too. This is part of the whole system, see? You don’t know this. But that’s the truth.

Know what I mean?

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