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Renaissance Faire site committee looking for something “in the 16th century.”

Snyder Township lost out on lucrative shillings and ducats from the Mid-Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire and Festival.

Edward E. Brown, III, who is in charge of the faire’s site selection committee and goes by the name Good Sir Robin Bobbin of Bell’s Woods, said that members thought the township was too rustic. “Oh, by goodly measure, our fine committee never beheldth such filth, such squalor,” Sir Robin said. “Both committee maidens and sires sayeth that Snyder doth offend all senses, the nose being top amongst them. ‘Tis a pity to be sure.”

The Renaissance Faire meets each year at a new location. Renaissance-inspired foods and crafts are part of the festival, as are re-enactments, such as games, dances and jousts.

“One fine Synder Township knight did joust us immediately as we approached the site,” Sir Robin said. “He, in his rusted pickup truck, and we, riding nobly in a blue Prius, did journey toward each one another from opposing directions on a one-way dirt road. And, long story short, we ended up in a ditch,” Sir Robin said, with a hint of regret.

Another concern for the committee was the language barrier. “Oh dread consternation, we couldst not for the life of us make out the hide nor the hair of what anyone in the community was saying,” Sir Robin said. “They spoke in a hair-lip’d fashion and peppered their speech with “you’nzes” and “yee-haws.” And no one could find these utterances in the Olde English dictionary.”

Sir Robin mentioned that Snyder Township could position itself for a Dark Ages or Prehistoric faire. “But they’d have to do something with all the junk’d tires and automobiles strewn about like so many petals of a dying and evil flower.”

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