Get your motor, not your metabolism, runnin’.
After a few attempts, Bart Sharker rolls out of his van, just a few feet from his favorite Wal-Mart. As he waddles toward an awaiting rascal scooter, a broad smile shares his face with dimples and the glaze of a recent donut.
Sharker is just one of the many obese […]
Entries Tagged as 'Health'
Wal-Mart Fatties Revel in Handicapped Status
May 20th, 2008 · 4 Comments
Town Drunk Revolutionizes Food Pyramid
April 2nd, 2008 · No Comments
Novus Ordo Drunkorum: A new drunken order for foodies.
For years, the U.S. Department of Agriculture knew that its Food Pyramid could not serve as a nutritional guideline for central Pennsylvania residents and was little more than a giant advertisement for the meat and bread industries. It took Bill “The Glitch” Grossenheimer, longtime Tyrone drunk and […]
Blair Woman Accused of Back Seat Drunk Driving
March 18th, 2008 · No Comments
Back seat drunk driving. You can’t ignore it.
State Police arrested Fawn Bartles, of Claysburg, for back seat drunk driving and an additional count of barking orders at an officer, the magistrate and several passers-by.
Police observed a car driven by Bartles’ boyfriend, Abner Bentalot, jump the curb, drive down the sidewalk, take a left turn in […]
