DotPenn

 Hines Ward led off the field for making “football-like” gestures.
Citing their desire to keep the National Football League free from violence and intimidation, Hines Ward and several other Pittsburgh Steelers will be fined for threatening to “hit the showers.”
Elvin Deltoid, NFL officiating representative, said the vocabulary of violence leads to violent behavior.
“We can’t have this […]

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Le Benchwarmer: soccer players are shocked over lack of play time.
The pandemic of soccer has swept through Bellwood, leaving a trail of Global Bench Warmers–and some frayed soccer mom nerves.
Bellwood’s soccer moms and dads are accusing some coaches of turning the semi-athletic, let’s-hold-hands-and-sing-Puff-the-Magic-Dragon game of European football into a competitive sport. Even more damning, at […]

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You want caption, eh? You Americans and your silly captions. Write it yourself. I am tired of cowboys and the need to write photo descriptions.
What rock and roll, post-modern literature, and loose Tyrone women couldn’t do, Bellwood-Antis parents are now afraid that a European sport will–destroy the sporting culture of its town.
Bellwood-Antis, a perennial PIAA […]

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