DotPenn

 Crows dive bomb new Paterno “Scare-Joe”
Since Penn State won’t be getting rid of head football coach Joe Paterno any time soon, university officials are putting his likeness to good use.
Cardboard Joe Paterno cutouts will be placed around the campus in attempt to scare off flocks of crows that nest on campus, as well as potential football […]

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 Hippies take part in vigil for peaceful resolution between man and hair. 
Campus police were called to the scene of a tense standoff between an aged professor and his long gray ponytail.
Police said the ponytail was continuing to hold Dr. Ludwig Crownhole, a professor of chalk drawing at Penn State, hostage at press time.
The incident reportedly started out as a […]

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Computers in happier times, before they found they can rule the world. 
State police computer tech support broke up an unruly gathering of BCS computers following Penn State’s heartbreaking loss to Iowa on Saturday.
“How ya like me now!” said a Dell laptop, as it chastised a collection of Penn State students. “Computer can’t pick no champion, […]

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