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Gays' Spirits Dampen As Stock Market Continues To La Cage Aux Folles. As the ghost of the Great Depression haunts heterosexual America, gays are suffering through the worst-ever Fab-u-lous Depression. "Oh my gosh, the last time it's been this fab-u-lous the munchkins were vogueing up and down the Yellow Brick Road," said dancer Renny Walmagger in his New York City apartment, as Judy Garland belts out Over the Rainbow in the background. "It's been so bad, my dance troupe is having a snit-and-a-half trying to line up new shows. It's so 'brother can you spare a penny loafer,' I mean really!" Walmagger said his side business as a cake-topping designer is suffering, as well, describing customer traffic as morbidly fabulous. Walmagger and other gays say they find it hard to believe that a few years ago, the economy was so fierce. "I wish it could be 2007 again," said California fashion designer Dondelle Varnie. "Except without the whole gay-bashing Bush administration and a little less of those drab color schemes that seemed so prevalent." Varnie said he's been trying to control his budget by cutting spending on non-essential items, like food and water, so that he can afford the essentials: glitter and Italian shoes. "I'll live in a box before I part with shoes and accessories," said Varnie. "What am I saying? I don't even need the box." Martine Narsh, a heterosexual, is angered at the gay's ability to fashionably and fabulously withstand economic malaise. "Can't they be the least bit gloomy?" said Narsh. "No one should color coordinate during an economic crisis."
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