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AIG executives follow bushido code to restore trust of their customers, earn bonuses Matsui Robotto, a third-degree Samurai and part-time Ninja, slowly walks in front of a group of AIG executives, or daimyo. He takes a deep breath and faces the men, all sporting big bags marked with dollar signs. "You have dishonored your families, your company and your nation. Even the hookers you invited to last year's lavish Christmas party now avoid you in shame," Mr. Robotto says. "Oh yeah, It's Seppuku time!" Robotto is training the AIG executives in the intricacies of the Japanese art of Seppuku, a form of suicide through disembowelment that is the cornerstone of the bushido code, first enacted by samurai, George W. Bushido. Seppuku, or "stomach cutting," was a form of capital punishment for samurai, politcal leaders, and ancient Japanese credit derivatives traders. Seppuku is performed by stabbing a sword into the abdomen and moving the sword left to right in a slicing motion, while whistling anything by the Hollies or John Denver. Robotto said his group was unphased by the notion of self-disembowelment. "They're a really good class, for the most part," Robotto says, as he steps away from the class. "I showed them the dagger they will use to tear out their own intestines and they looked at it like it was nothing. Like they didn't have anything inside them and were just empty suits." The AIG executives are receiving Seppuku training as part of the massive bailout of the company after they refused to give back millions of dollars in bonuses. Geff Klimpton, a marketing director for AIG, said he would rather plunge the cold, sharp blade of his tanto into his abdomen than give back his $300 K bonus. "All AIG warriors live by a code," Kimpton said as he sharpened his knife. "And that code is usually a very expensive zip code that requires a lot of money to reside in. And then there's country club dues." "There's no way I'm giving back that bonus," Klimpton continued. The Obama administration indicates that while they won't endorse Seppuku, they do think Soduku is not only fun and educational, but easier to clean up.
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