Global Warming Impacting Habitat of Gummi Bears

When Gummi Bears attack. Global warming shrinks chewy bear habitat.

While Hollywood stars and former Vice Presidents warn about the implications global warming will have on mythical creatures like polar bears and Eskimos, one group is fighting to save the struggling Gummi Bear population.

Brent Hartson, leader of the Gummi Bear Coalition, said that global climate change is shrinking the habitat of the delicious creatures.

"We believe by 2012, there won't be any Gummi Bears," said Hartson. "They will go the way of other creatures destroyed by man's evilness and greed, like the marshmallow Do-Do peep."

Hartson said thousands of Gummi Bears have melted into a sticky goo. Thousands more are threatened.

Another worry is that as they become pressed into a tighter and tighter habitat with fewer resources, the Gummi Bears may end up stalking humans. A similar effect has occurred to stressed polar bear populations and Oprah at a dwindling buffet table.

"Oprah once charged the wait staff that was lingering to close to the shrimp dish," said Hartson. "A lot of people don't know that."

Despite numerous attempts the group has not been able to enlist the aid of a Hollywood celebrity, who tend to help "cuddly" animals and detoxing fellow actors.

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