Penn State Climatologist Questions Nittany Lions BCS Rankings

Mann uses tree rings to refute BCS claims Penn State climatologist and creative mathemagician Michael Mann said the Penn State Nittany Lions have been ranked too low in the Bowl Championship Series.

His numbers indicate that the Nittany Lions' position in the poll is higher now than it ever was in its storied history.

"The bowl-eligibility of Penn State has risen dramatically even though statistics from the Bowl Championship Series appears to show a decline," said Man "We can no longer continue to ignore this problem and must add more funding to this research."

Penn State is currently ranked 13th in the BCS standings. Mann says that's way low. According to Mann, Penn State should be ranked number 1, above Florida and Alabama.

"We should be competing for a National Championship this year. Maybe even a global championship," Mann said.

Mann said he uses tree rings to determine national rankings.

Mann disagrees with SEC and ACC experts who have challenged his now famous hockey-stick chart that indicates Penn State football has undergone a steep climb, especially in the last decade. He has labeled these experts as skeptics who should be marginalized.

Joe Paterno appeared confused about the controversy.

"A clima-who?" said Paterno. "That Michigan State has a fast kid in there as QB. We can play with anyone when those kids are motivated to play. What was the question again?"

Mann has been joined by former Vice President Al Gore in finding fault with the BCS standings, even though he invented the bowl championship.

"There's a time for truth and scientific analysis, but this is not one of them. This is a time for solidarity to a blind ideology that will create an expanded government mandate," Gore said. "I invented college football. It was during a picnic. I think it was on a Sunday."

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