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With witches around the world reporting record drops in breast temperatures, global climatologists are being forced to re-calibrate their predictions for global climate change. In the past, climatologists have used glacier size, polar ice cap girth, witch tit temperature and decreasing size of grant funding to sound the global warming alarm bells. Ismarelda Vickers, a witch from the Harrisburg coven, said her breast temperatures have dipped into the sub-zero range after recording some of her warmest boob temperatures ever a decade ago. For years, climatologists had blamed the sudden increase in temperatures on anthropic intervention. "We had heard that our breasts warming was a result of man," Vickers said. "I just thought that Al Gore was telling us our breasts were getting warmer was some kind of nerdy pickup line." Scientists are worried this global boob cooling trend could be part of a massive climate shift and cause temperatures to spiral down well into the 21st century. Already, meteorologists in central Pennsylvania are reporting temperatures as cold as a witch's tit. In the mid-west, temps are colder than a witch's tit. In Alaska, they're using a witch's tit to heat their food.
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