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Thems My Peeps! Put only farm-fresh, free-range organic peeps in your Easter basket this year. Even Doc Hardiway, a 15-year veteran of the Pennsylvania Agriculture Department's humane candy livestock treatment squad, had a hard time keeping his composure. "When we busted in the door of the peep coop, there were thousands of them," said Hardiway. "And they just looked at us with those sad itty-bitty dot eyes. It was so sad, I had to step outside." Acting on a tip from a group of jealous Mennonites, Hardiway and his group raided the Jacob Longenfeffer's mashmallow poultry farm located in Lancaster County yesterday. The squad freed hundreds of thousands of marshmallow peeps who were being raised in unsanitary, cramped conditions, the agent said. Peep excrement was spread around the farm, along with chocolate rabbit poop and shattered peanut butter eggs that authorities said could cause salmonella-vanilla. "I don't know how people can treat peeps like this," said Hardiway. "I can't understand how people can bear this mistreatment." Authorities said that the Amish family was raising specially-bred peeps that were used for industrial uses and religious holidays. The peeps have no wings or legs and the beaks are just little marshmallow curly-cues. "The peeps had obviously not seen the sun, some were turning purple," said Hardiway. "As well as blue, yellow and pink." Fawn Hull, a representative for the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Candy Animals, said the inhumanity to candy didn't end there. "We have every reason to believe that some of the peeps were being raised to be marshmallow fighing cocks," said Hull. "Where they would have ultimately met their end, probably at Michael Vick's house." Malichi Hadenbadden, a representative for the Amish Defense League, said the family violated no law of God. "The Bible tells us that man has dominion over all animals fair and fowl," said Hadenbadden. "And marshmallow, sugar and food coloring."
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im so angry who ever made this
i love peepsbut this shit is crazzzzzzzzzzzzy!