Grange Fair-goer Chokes To Life On Chicken-On-A-Stick

Chicken turns out to be hero in Grange Fair food incident.

A quick-thinking Grange Fair-goer saved the life of a visitor to the fair after the victim slumped out of the picnic bench and underneath a Chick-a-Kabob vending stand last night.

Tim Dampers, a compulsive fair food sampler and part-time judo instructor of Penns Valley, passed out during the fair after ordering his third dinner of the evening. He said he doesn't remember what caused him to lose consciousness, but thought it might have been green.

"Might of been broccoli," said Dampers. "It tasted kinda bittery and healthy and stuff."

Luckily for Dampers, Drew Gaines saw the five-foot-two, 350-pound judo instructor fall off the bench and quickly inserted the man's Chicken-on-a-Stick back into the man's mouth. The Chicken-on-a-Stick is a roasted half-chicken impaled on a two foot long stick. It also has a roll on top.

"I saw him hit the ground and I was like, we need fried chicken, stat!" said Gaines. "Once the grease hit the tongue I knew he was reviving. Such is the power of animal grease and various fats."

Emergency crews were dispatched to the area and helped stabilize Dampers with a pulled pork sandwich. EMTs speculate that a piece of broccoli, or garnish, may have accidentally slipped in with the chicken, causing this adverse reaction.

"We tried to keep any type of roughage out of the fair area, but it can slip in," said EMT Paul Wonks. "You have to be always on the alert."

Dampers said during his loss of consciousness, he had a near-death experience.

"I crossed through this tunnel and saw a bright light. And a voice, neither male nor female told me: it's not your time," Dampers said. "You're not finished with eating your Chicken on a Stick."

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