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 Pennsylvania Governor Edward "Gigi" Rendell and a group of New York hookers are reportedly still at an impasse over a payment plan. But, according to the office of the Governor, the two sides are "close" to a new budget and were spending some time going over figures.
"We're optimistic that a deal can be worked out," said Dalton "Huggy Bear" Baker spokesperson for a prostitute, who goes by the number "19." "I don't wanna get violent, or anything, you know, it ain't my style." Mr. Bear continued. While government officials are spending the taxpayer dime on travel, junkets, and liaisons with call girls, Pennsylvanian workers are still not being paid.  Rendell is trying not to jeopardize needed services, said R. Kelly Snodmeir, the governor's spokesperson.
"And, by 'jeopardizing needed services,' the Governor said he doesn't mean things like police services or road repair," said Snodmeir. "He's referring to those necessary functions of government officials, like flying to Argentina to engage in relationships outside of the marriage and secret flings with hookers, those types of things." Some Pennsylvania hookers are angered that the Governor is setting up deals with outside services. "Whatta those gals got that we ain't got," said Florence, a Harrisburg hooker. "Besides teeth? And freshly-laundered clothes? And a clean bill of health?" Rendell is angered at the response from keystone state call girls.
"I've done more for them than any other sitting, recling, or laying down governor in Commonwealth history!" said Rendell, clearly angered. "They should put a statue of me on their mantle, or whatever decorative perch a brothel has."
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