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The Grinch strikes a defiantly progressive, metrosexual pose.
Revealed for the first time: the Christmas-snatching Grinch is actually a politically-correct progressive. Here are the top ten pieces of evidence. 1. Instead of using a snowmobile prefers more environmentally-correct dog-powered sled. So he took his dog Max, and he took some black thread, and he tied a big horn on the top of his head. 2. As a vegan, the Grinch refuses to eat Roast Beast. 3. Out-of-touch mountain retreat similar to confines of Washington D.C. beltway. (Both are also snow-covered thanks to Copenhagen treaty.) 4. Turning green from a lack of protein. 5. Hates Christians. Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk... Mr. Gri-inch 6. Hates Christmas. The Grinch hated Christmas - the whole Christmas season. Now, please don't ask why; no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or it could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right. 7. Steals from taxpayers by promising to make things better. (Think Social Security, Medicare, Medicade, The VA hospital system, etc.) So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here. 8. Lack of bathing facilities not a problem for Grinch. The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: Stink, stank, stunk! 9. Distrusts free market. He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. 10. Anti-competition. And they'll play noisy games like zoozit and kazay, a rollerskate type of lacrosse and croquet!
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