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 Clicking Google Ads causes Obama pain. Perhaps it's all that natural distribution of capital? Physicians for P. Rezzi Barack Obama are keeping silent, but one unnamed official said a recent physical did not go well for the president. Doctors say while Obama does not have swine flu, he appears to suffer from a rare ailment called googlephobatic thrombosis, or H1N1-ChaChaCha, an intense pain caused by the clicking of google ads. According to the doctor, Obama receives a stinging sensation in the skull when Google ads are clicked. He also suffers from a deep malaise brought on by the purchase of conservative books at Amazon.com. "It appears that skyscraper ads on the right-hand navigation cause him the most discomfort," the doctor said. "Although, a purchase of a Mark Levin's book, Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservatives Manifesto, from Amazon.com will undeniably bring him pain, too." Doctors do not know when Obama picked up the condition, or if there's a cure. "They suspect the reaction will dissipate over time, kinda like church attendance at Trinity United Church of Christ without Christ," said Dr. Hazel Motes, who examined the President for literary references. "We just hope he pulls through and Google Adsense publishers don't click through." Representatives from Google, while neither confirming or denying the doctor's analysis, repeat that clicking on contextual ads to hurt the president is still click fraud. Internet users, especially Conservatives and Libertarians, are asked to refrain from such actions. Publishers who use Google Adsense, including satire site Dotpenn, are asked to not incite or promote ad clicks that are not consistent with the terms of service. Deficit... Tax increase... Global warming... ACORN.... Inadequate funding for defense... Special Olympic bowling team... CIA memo... Portuguese Water Spaniel...
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