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Cops warn motorists: stop being so goddamn polite.
Refusing to budge and smiling mindlessly, four polite Huntingdon drivers are now trapped at a four-way stop intersection following a traffic anomaly. The incident unfolded noon yesterday when four extremely polite people arrived at the intersection at the exact same time. Now, the drivers are all yielding the right-of-way to each other at the same time and refusing to move. Traffic Control Officer Wanda McCutcheon said it was a worst-case scenario. "It's what you might call a perfect storm, if you weren't afraid to use a cliche," said McCutcheon. "To get four polite people on the road is one thing, but to get them to arrive from four different directions at one time at a single intersection is a disaster in the making." The overly-polite motorists are currently just gesturing and signaling permission to each other. "A lot of nods and finger waves," said McCutcheon. "A couple headlight flicks." McCutcheon said typically one driver will move no matter what the protocol at a four-way stop is. "In routine stops at these intersections, the law of averages says you'll have at least one asshole who will dart out in front of the others whether it's his turn or not," said McCutcheon. "This doesn't seem to be the case." Twenty-three hours after the incident occurred, police said all four vehicles are still trapped at the intersection. Occasionally, one car hops toward freedom, but is quickly stopped when another polite driver hops his car forward, which stops the progress of the other vehicle. Traffic is backed up to Lewistown. Samuel K. Jackson, of Mount Union, witnessed the incident. "It was horrible! Horrible!" said Jackson. "I told my wife, I feel pretty fortunate that I'm an overly-aggressive asshole behind the wheel and she said she'll never yell at me the next time I pass funeral processions in a no-passing zone."
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