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Altoona police charged a man from the future with robbing an Logan Valley Township convenience store that was owned by his grandfather.Jimmie Dean LeRoy, of Chinasylvania, was charged with armed robbery, aggravated assault, and failure to yield the right-of-way to a time-space paradox. Sergeant Bill Walenknacker, of the Altoona City Police, said that this type of thing happens occasionally. "If you're hooked on meth, you'll do anything to satisfy that fix," said Walenknacker. "Including traveling through a wormhole to knock over a convenience story owned by your grandfather." Police said LeRoy needed the money to secure meth-amphetamine. "I needed it so bad, real bad," said LeRoy. "So I secured the services of a time-space disruption machine from our Chinese overlords." Police say that once LeRoy can arrange bail he is free to leave. Unfortunately most currency in the future has been eliminated and replaced with a tattoo on the forehead, called a "Obama." LeRoy added that when he left Arlen Specter was running as a Communist, after switching from the Democratic Party, a party that has been outlawed by the ruling Chinese class for its left-leaning agenda.
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