Town Drunk Insults Cop For Free White House Beer

It's Obama post-racism time!

"Why? Because I'm a drunk man in America?" Dexter "Piney" Zelts yells at a Bellefonte police officer attempting to place him in the squad car for resisting arrest, public drunkenness, and impersonating a Harvard professor.

Piney is just one of the region's town drunks trying to get an invite for a free White House beer by over-playing sensitivities and acting insulting to law enforcement.

"This is racism!" Piney shouts out the car door, as it's closed. "Where ma free beer, Mr. President, for the last two hours of oppression?"

President Barack "O-bama You Came And You Saved Me and I need you tonight" Obama recently offered Harvard professor of Anti-Whitey studies, Henry Louis Gates, and police officer James Crowley a trip to the White House kegger after a race-tinged mix-up outside the professor's house.

Later, Piney admits it was the lure of free beer that lured him into the confrontation with police. He also admitted he wasn't black.

"But due to liver complications I do have a greenish hue," Piney said. "That's gotta count for something."

Johnny Ray Johnson, a Johnstown area town drunk, was also fishing for an invitation to the White House when he attacked a group of uniformed personnel. Unfortunately, they were firefighters and his house was burning down.

"Why because I'm a burned man in America?" Johnson shouted at fire fighters, trying to beat the flames off his smouldering clothes.

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