Snyder Township Pirates Hijack Garbage Trawler

Snyder Township Pennsylvania Garbage Pirates

Trash Buccaneers: Garbage... It's sounds so French, doesn't it?

The efforts to stem international piracy took a step backwards when reports surfaced yesterday that a new type of seagoing transport has been targetted by these 21st century buccaneers.

The Dream Cousin, a 42-ton garbage trawler, was hijacked off the coast of New Jersey by a group of Snyder Township pirates. The pirates are led by Cap'n Redneck, who hails from Northwood, the capital of Snyder Township.

"Why should the scallawags of New Jersey have all the finest of all the garbages, I aske ye," said Redneck. "Why, my backyard pile of diapers is perilously close to empty, you see, don't ya?"

"'Tis just the redistribution of the wealth of garbage, arrr," continued Redneck.

The pirates plan to bring the trawler into a secret New Jersey cove and transport the material back to Snyder Township.

While the move is viewed by some with confusion and others with disgust, the people of Snyder Township view the waste disposal pirates as heroes and their latest incident as one of the greatest township victories.

May Belle Carson, community activist and instructor of the Snyder Township's senior strip dancing class, said she has never been prouder.

"Snyder Township has always been known as the home of Copper rustlers, now we're going international," said Carson. "All around the world quiver when they hear the words: Snyder Township."

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