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Mel, pictured here walking on two legs, runs for Senate. Mel Gibson said he has formed an exploratory committee to enter the race for the West Virginia Senate seat left vacant by klugle Robert Byrd. "Race? Did someone say race?" said Gibson. "I never said anything about race." Gibson said initial polls indicate he does have credentials for the position in West Virginia. Norman Lincoln Rockwell, III, former West Virginia speech writer, said that the actor uses a very similar vocabulary as the late Senator Byrd. "I could see his natural grasp of the language and the epithet would be very similar to the esteemed klugle Byrd," said Rockwell. "Heck, I wouldn't have to change a word." Gibson also favors a more conservative-dressing style for women--a notion very popular with West Virginia males. "I only date women who is able to pull of a burlap sack look," said Jethro Walters, a West Virginia spirits distiller. "And that burlap sack should be in front of them collecting potatoes from the garden for later mashin' and such!" President Barack Obama said he would endorse Gibson's run. "As I drive the country into a financial apocalypse, we'll need politicians who can adapt to Mad Max-type conditions," Obama said. "Mell brings that and a sequel to the table." As long as Gibson is prepared to vote for his agenda, the president will accept some of Gibson's provocative stances. "Mel has said things that I'm sure he regrets. We all do," said Obama. "Like that part about doing away with those fake boobs... that's just the rambling of a drunken fool."
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