Unnamed racist practices high five salute at NAACP meeting.

The Tea Party National Convention condemned the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People for explicit racism.

Tea Party spokesperson Derrick Devan said members of the party were insulted by the association's use of epithets in its own name and its lack of diversity.

"In this day and age, to call someone a 'colored' is offensive and should be cast into the recesses of history with other reminders of a racist age," said Devan. "Couldn't the rename it 'National Association of People of Color?'"

Dr. Franklin Franks, a representative of the NAACP said that the association couldn't rename it for "people of color" because it may allow "other people" in.

"The next thing you know we'd have a bunch of Jews or Hispanics running the place," said Franks. "Or a Chinaman. You know how they are."

The Tea Party also condemned the organization's lack of diversity. While Tea Party members come in all races and nationalities, the NAACP only allows black people in.

It's a charge the Franks acknowledges, but says is just an attempt for Tea Party members to  deflect against its own allegations of racism.

"It's just the pot calling the kettle colored," said Franks. "err. Black." 

Mel, pictured here walking on two legs, runs for Senate. 

Mel Gibson said he has formed an exploratory committee to enter the race for the West Virginia Senate seat left vacant by klugle Robert Byrd.

"Race? Did someone say race?" said Gibson. "I never said anything about race."

Gibson said initial polls indicate he does have credentials for the position in West Virginia.

Norman Lincoln Rockwell, III, former West Virginia speech writer, said that the actor uses a very similar vocabulary as the late Senator Byrd. 

"I could see his natural grasp of the language and the epithet would be very similar to the esteemed klugle Byrd," said Rockwell. "Heck, I wouldn't have to change a word."

Gibson also favors a more conservative-dressing style for women--a notion very popular with West Virginia males. 

"I only date women who is able to pull of a burlap sack look," said Jethro Walters, a West Virginia spirits distiller. "And that burlap sack should be in front of them collecting potatoes from the garden for later mashin' and such!" 

President Barack Obama said he would endorse Gibson's run.

"As I drive the country into a financial apocalypse, we'll need politicians who can adapt to Mad Max-type conditions," Obama said. "Mell brings that and a sequel to the table."

As long as Gibson is prepared to vote for his agenda, the president will accept some of Gibson's provocative stances. 

"Mel has said things that I'm sure he regrets. We all do," said Obama. "Like that part about doing away with those fake boobs... that's just the rambling of a drunken fool." 

Shuttle pilot Ralph Kramden explains new space policy to wife. 

Ralph Kramden, bus driver and moon launch specialist, says that reaching the Muslim world is much more important than his plan to send his wife to the moon.

"The President was very specific about this," Kramden said. "My first job, my first priority, is to reach out to the Muslim world and to stoke their interest in science." 

Kramden had planned that one of these days he would send his wife--zam, pow--right to the moon. Priorities have changed in the Obama's more expansive view of space travel.

Long-time political ally, Ed Norton, said the move is unexpected.

"That Ralphy has always been promising to send that sweet Alice to the moon," said Norton. "Perhaps the failure to develop a inexpensive launch delivery vehicle to replace the space shuttle made the trip impractical, or something that's best accomplished by a more entrepreneurial private sector."

Kramden was interviewed recently on Al Jazeera television where he tried to convince the audience that it would be okay to send a woman to the moon.

One audience member wasn't so sure.

"Obviously a woman can be sent to the moon, as long as she travels five steps behind her husband and is properly veiled," said Abduhl Malook. "Zam. Pow. Zoom."