"Holy crap. I had no idea." Jeff Carbone said. "I thought when President Obama said 'change' he meant that he would change things, but the change wouldn't affect me."

Carbone, an auto mechanic and former Obama supporter, now said he is facing higher taxes and declining medical services to support yet another bloated federal bureaucracy in the form of Obamacare.

"I thought people like Dick Cheney were supposed to pay for government-run health care," said Carbone. "Boy, do I feel misled."

Carbone said he wants to take back his vote for Obama.

"This is a democracy, right? Can't I just take my vote back?" asked Carbone.

Carbone said he usually relies on Hollywood celebrities to assist his political thinking and is sending a fan letter to Alec Baldwin seeking his advice in revoking his vote.

"Did you see him in the Hunt for Red October? Masterful." Carbone said. "I just hope this letter doesn't violate the terms of the restraining order Mr. Baldwin has against me."

President has limited economic opportunity and decreased freedom meeting up in the Obamacare finals. 

President Barack Obama is canceling a scheduled economic recovery for passage of the health care bill.

Earlier, Obama postponed a trip to Asia to hang out while Congress debated both the health care legislation and ways to vote on the health care bill without actually voting on it.

"This is historic," said the President's spokesperson, Robert Gibbs. "There's not many chances in a President's career where he can destroy both short-term and long-term economic growth. And also thwart democracy in new ways. That's what this President is all about."

Gibbs said the President wanted quick passage of the bill so he could get back to checking his March Madness bracket.

Obama asked for the bill to be enacted before Easter.

"Before Easter? What's Easter?" Obama said at a press conference. "Oh, yeah, right."

"This holiday is celebrated by many of my fellow Christians," Obama read from the teleprompter. "It honors the resurrection of their... I mean... our lord, Jesus Christ. May the prophet honor his name."

Tickle Me Massa 

In a move designed to create a liberal version of the Tea Party, former Congressman Eric Massa said he's forming a new political movement.

Massa said at a press conference that he is forming a party of disaffected Democrats, called the Tickle Party.

"It's better than a tea party," said Massa. "Although there's nothing wrong with a wonderful tea party, full on scones and wonderful company!"

"But nothing beats a tickle party!" Massa concluded.

The Tickle Party is aimed at ultra left-wingers upset at people like Larry King and other kind-of-left wingers.

Massa plans to run for Tickle Party President. He had served as Tickle Party Whip and Tickle Party Sergeant of Arms, but the move doesn't intimidate the Navy veteran.

"Our motto is 'Yes We Can Gootchie-Goo.'" 

Massa said Democrats are not happy with his new political movement, which threatens to take votes from their block.

"I was recently accosted by a naked Hillary Clinton when I was taking a schvits," said Massa. "Talk about scaring a guy straight. But that's exactly opposite of that."