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Following the mass shooting in Arizona that claimed the life of a young girl and federal judge, Americans are asked to show more civility in public discourse, or feel the immediate physical ramifications of not keeping their piehole shut. Jefferson Longhorn Dadbern, a 26-term Democratic Congressman from Georgia, said he has had his own life threatened on several occasions. "Why my mistress's husband threatened to tar and feather me," said Dadbern. "Why, me, a duly representative of the fine state of Georgia. to be accused in such a manner. It's unAmerican!" Congress is debating new limits of free speech aimed at making discourse more civil. "Free speech does not mean you have the right to say mean things about people who want to raise your taxes and spend some of that money on certain ladies of the night," said Karnell Walderheed, a Democratic senator's aide. "Our founding fathers did not anticipate such debate." New laws will punish uncivil debate with a sock in the nose on the first offense. Second offenses would result in a solid ass-whoopin'.
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