Blumenthal Awarded with Purple Heart, Green Clovers, and Blue Diamonds

Blumenthal gestures relative size of leprechaun enemies he dispatched during war.

Connecticut Attorney General and last year's Dance with the Stars winner, Sir Richard Blumenthal was awarded the prestigious Purple Heart with Green Clovers and Blue Diamonds.

Blumenthal won the award during combat maneuvers years ago against Leprechauns. Often called, "The Forgotten War," Blumenthal and thousands of other delusional politicians were caught up in a overseas contingency operation against the Wee People.

"I left a lot of fine men--brothers--back there on those faire fields," Blumenthal said. "I don't think I ever came back. At least a part of me is back there. Could you cue up that Billy Joel song. What was it? Still in Saigon, or whatever it was."

Blumenthal told reporters he was attached to the 327th Magic Bean Division stationed in the Iron Da Nang Khe Sanh Pusan perimeter during the war.

During one engagement, Blumenthal caught a sizable portion of fairy dust in his eyes, leading to temporary blindness. He said that the conflict's unpopularity and perhaps its lack of existence were reasons why the award was delayed.

"They never acknowledged it," said Blumenthal. "Typical. I just got spat at in the face when I landed my magic broom in the San Francisco airport. That's the thanks I got."

"Although, it did help get the fairy dust out of my eyes, as I recall."

Blumenthal is also up for the Medal of Honor for his service against Sauron during a Lord of the Rings-themed live action role playing game last summer.

Comments

Add New