| Johnstown Bureaucrats Mourn Loss Of Giant Check |
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Flood, who owns a Johnstown defense contract that received millions in earmarks to develop a laser-guided musket, will join hundreds of other area bureaucrats and sycophants who will mourn the passing of a giant check. The giant check has been welcomed into inefficient businesses and unneeded government offices since 1969. "I'm gonna miss that guy," said Flood, wiping away a tear. "He really propped us up." Flood said he worries how the economy will respond to the loss of such an important political figure. "I was just talking to my friend at the Chamber of Commerce. He runs a paperwork creation business and he said he's thinking of actually making and selling products in the marketplace," said Flood. "That's what it's coming down to." Grant and proposal writers are particularly hard hit. "I started out as a novelist," said Babs Karchek, who works as a grant writer for a defense contractor-slash-coffee shop. "But there was just more money in writing grants." Behind Karchek, there are several photos of the grant writer standing with giant check. Flags will hang at half-mast in Pennsylvania to commemorate the passing of giant check.
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Danny Flood said he just came to pay his respects to a pillar of the community.