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America: After Obama's first term. Even though the obama2012.com url is already registered, ancient Mayans and Hollywood movie producers believe Obama's first term will end in cataclysmic disaster. Summerforest Raintree, a scholar of ancient Mayan culture and founder of Moe Hair, a non-gender beauty shop in Los Angeles, said that the Mayan calendar ominously ends in 2012, exactly when Obama's second term would begin. "While the Mayans have not left us any specific details on how the world would end, life as we know it will not exist after 2012," Raintree said."Life on Mars will go on. So that's lucky." Since the Mayans never left exact details on how the world would end or whether they simply got bored with calendar-making, Raintree relies on spirit communication to discern the ancient people's intention. "I channel several Mayan spirits, including one named, Bert, but he's not very chatty." said Raintree. "All believe that the world will end in 2012, right after lunch." The Mayan calendar is one of the most astronomically precise calendars of the ancient world and one of the few ancient calendars that can predict National Dairy Month and Super Bowl Sunday with pinpoint accuracy. "Even the great Roman culture could not keep track of Dairy Month," said Raintree. "Likewise, the Egyptians built the Great Pyramid without the full knowledge of the Super Bowl, even though the Mayans predicted the annual football extravaganza." Hollywood producers are also foretelling an Obama presidency that will end the world. The movie 2012, which will be released on November 13, shows the Obama reign ending in complete catastrophes. Volcanoes, tidal waves, and earthquakes are among the disasters that Obama will unleash in his final days. "It's a judgment of God," said director Roland Emmerich. "Along with the incredible deficit spending and the cap and trade bill."
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