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Racism is not dead, according to the majority of white people in a recent poll. The Plue Research Center, of Toledo, OH, announced that 75 percent of white people (plus or minus two NASCAR fans) believe that "more than 70 percent" of white people are "really" racist. The poll further revealed that the white people who aren't racist believe that 29 percent who aren't "really" racist are a "tad bit" racist. A total of 95 percent of white males believe that all white males, except the white male taking the poll, are racist. Devin Shields, who isn't a racist, agrees with the findings. "Hey. Don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are racist," said Shields. "But white people are racist." Shields said he can prove he isn't a racist because he watched the Cosby Show, likes rap, and always offers a disclaimer any time he says anything that might be construed as a negative comment against a black person. "Sometimes, you know, I'll say something like, 'That OJ Simpson did it,'" said Sheilds. "But before I say it, I always say, 'I'm not racist or anything,' just to, you know, clear the air." Kate Hoggshead, who is not racist, said that people who disagree with her on political and governmental issues tend to be the most racist. "When people say they don't like taxes, what they're really saying is 'I hate black people,'" said Hoggshead. "And racists overwhelmingly are against government-run health care, even the black dudes who are against it, too."
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