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Claiming a huge victory for swine rights, President Barack Obama passed sweeping legislation that will make all pigs equal, although some pigs are more equal than others. Jorge Orwelli, Obama's porcine rights czar, said the bill means that pigs who are more closely associated with the administration will get better equal rights. "Of course, all pigs are equal,' said Orwelli. "But the pigs who are out allies are much more equal." Obama agreed with his czar. "We'd all like to think that pigs are equal, let me be clear on this," said Obama. "But in reality, we just have pigs that deserve better equality. You wouldn't say that a piggy bank is equal to the piggy that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home, would you?" Above equal pigs will be granted certain rights and privileges that the their equal comrade pigs will not have access to. For instance, pigs associated with Big Labor won't be forced to share the sacrifice in creating a national veterinarian care that is being proposed by the Obama administration. Pigs in Nebraska are given certain concessions that unequal pigs can not attain, as well. Creating a society of more equal pigs who don't have to sacrifice equally should benefit portions of the nation, Obama added. "But, let me be clear, though," Obama said. "The more equal pigs are actually equal to other pigs; in fact, more so."
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