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Pelosi demonstrates enhanced colon investigation (ECI) techniques. Congress woman Nancy Pelosi went on the offensive last week, charging the FBI with misleading her about body inspections during briefings. According to Pelosi, joint briefings between Congressional leaders and the Federal Body Inspectors never discussed "enhanced body investigation" techniques. Memos from the body investigators indicate the contrary and state that not only was Pelosi aware of the EBIs, but actually thought some of them were "cute." EBI's include the "ole mirror on the shoes while slow dancing technique" and fake hugs to check breast size. "According to the memo I have about the memo. That I wrote on a napkin," said Pelosi. "I believe that the FBI intentionally misled me about the use of enhanced body inspections. I also think the bagel they gave me during the session wasn't whole wheat. It may not have even been gluten-free, either." Pelosi pushed even further, doubting the veracity of the inspectors' federal charter. "I'm not even sure that the Federal Body Inspectors is a legitimate federal agency," said Pelosi. "But, honestly, I've never read the Constitution." Members of the ACLU, the American Commission on Ladies Underwear, said Pelosi must come clean with her participation in the program. ACLU members believe that the FBI is violating their own rights to enhanced inspections. Leon Baretta, head of the body inspectors, said that the agency would never mislead a member of Congress. "It's not in our values to intentionally mislead Congress women," said Baretta. "Unless they have an exceptional rack." Pelosi, by all accounts, does not have a nice rack.
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