|
Unknown old North Korean woman waves at Hillary Clinton because both have similar hair-dos. The U.S. State Department offered the North Korean leaders, its people and its people who are used as burros congratulations for a successful launch of an intercontinental ballistic missile that could be used to strike Japan and, hopefully, California. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton presented Kim Jong Il with a commemorative "Relaunch" button, as well as replicas that can be passed out to his people who will probably eat them. The Relaunch buttons are like the re-set buttons the Secretary gave Russian leaders, who also happen to be North Korea's staunchest allies. "We believe that by passing on clever tchotchkes and knick-nacks with a pop culture twist, we can restore American prestige," said Clinton. "We feel it's also a way to protect our citizens from rogue nations, which we now refer to as overseas mentally-unstable contingency regimes." The United States and allies had asked North Korea really nicely not to launch the missile. Pyongyang responded by immediately blasting the three-stage long range rocket into the air. Kim Jong Il, glorious leader of North Korea and voted to each spot of North Korean People's Magazine's 50 Hottest Men, said he wasn't sure what to make of the Secretary of State's offer. "A button? What the hell?" said Kim. "The Queen gets iPod and I get button? Son of bitch. Shit." "At least a Rubik's cube!" Kim added. "Or some pornography." Kim Duk Il, owner of an all-grass restaurant in Pyongyang, said the glorious leader shouldn't be hasty. He's fed his family of six on the Relaunch button, as well as a few plastic Hope refrigerator magnets from the 2008 Obama campaign. "But, of course, the glorious leader is right," said Kim Duk Il. "Some pornography would have been acceptable. So tired of ogling breast etchings I make in mud."
|
